Black Sheep Brainchild

I have been slacking in the posting department lately. I have lots of thoughts and things I have wanted to put out here but have been dealing with some health things lately.

My hypermobility has been going crazy and my hip and ribs have been out of place quite often lately. I think part of this is hormone related.

And on that front…

I asked for it 10 years ago…

But I am finally….FINALLY…going to get a hysterectomy. In less than 2 weeks I will no longer have a cervix, uterus, or fallopian tubes. I can’t even express how much I have going into this. I have had a hate relationship with those parts of my body for years – they have caused so much pain and so many issues…and finally, finally I have been heard and we are going to do something more permanent about them.

A small bit of backstory –

I have PMDD, endometriosis, suspected (can’t confirm for certain reasons) PCOS, dysmenorrhea, menorrhagia, and a few other things surrounding my menses. I have missed school and work and spent much of my time curled up in a ball, trying to get through awful cramps. I had a DVT in 2012 and discovered a genetic clotting condition (Leiden Factor V) which meant that going forward I could not do any sort of hormones – no pill, no patch, no insertion – Estrogen is BAD news. For a bit I used a type of IUD that my doctor and I did extreme research on – but that has failed in the last few months, years before it should have. They have given me major pain relief meds that are generally used for RA and other disorders – and they aren’t enough.

My options are limited – and given the choice between an ablation and hysterectomy – after much research and connecting with people – I opted for the hysterectomy and salpingectomy (this makes me giggle so much that the fallopian tube removal is called that – I keep reading it as “sapling” and it makes me think of tree branches and my brain goes off from there) and my doctor has agreed with me.

The end is in sight. Potential relief is ahead. I have been channeling my anxiety about the procedure and the risks added from my clotting disorder into prepping myself and the house for after, working on making sure other people can handle my tasks at work while I am out, and going over the plans the doctors and I have in place. I am so completely settled on what will happen – I have no worries about if this is the right decision or not – and that speaks volumes to me.

Hopefully I will be able to get some of my other posts out – wanted to update in the meantime and also reach out. If you have something you are struggling with – if you feel alone, if you are in pain, if you don’t know how to get relief – hang in there. You have got this. Connect with others if you can. People will be there. Call a crisis line or text HOME to 741741. You are not alone, no matter what the brain creatures are telling you.

Care Bear stares ❤